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In Memory of Kandis Carter



William Ernest Henley - 1849-1903

Out of the night that covers me,   
  Black as the Pit from pole to pole,   
I thank whatever gods may be   
  For my unconquerable soul.   

In the fell clutch of circumstance 
  I have not winced nor cried aloud.   
Under the bludgeonings of chance   
  My head is bloody, but unbowed.   

Beyond this place of wrath and tears   
  Looms but the Horror of the shade, 
And yet the menace of the years   
  Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.   

It matters not how strait the gate,   
  How charged with punishments the scroll,   
I am the master of my fate:
  I am the captain of my soul.

Throughout Kandis's fight with melanoma the poem Invictus became her mantra. 

10/20/70 - 7/20/2020

Kandis left this life for her greater reward Monday, July 20th, 2020.  She had been doing pretty well, they had plan for the future, but things started to change three weeks ago.  Her cancer began to grow rapidly.  The swarm wouldn’t stop.  She made several step changes over that time and Monday afternoon was the last. 

Having gotten through all the sad details, let me tell you about the wonder that is Kandis. Her husband and all who knew Kandis  have never known a more loving caring human.  She met  her future husband and both made a commitment that neither of them wanted to get married.  Perfect!  So they started  dating and never marrying....  A week in they both knew that they were in trouble.  By the end of the week “I love you” had entered into their discussions quite often.  Charles Carter  said it first. Of course she was that great.  A year later they were wed.  Most of you know the rest of the story.  Their  lives together were glorious. Even though Charles  wishes  he had longer, he would do it all over again.  Even though their life together was brief and the ending was painful, they had found their great love of their life. The joy and love they shared towers over the pain.  Charles said "She was my person.  We never had a conflict between us.  We talked about everything and knew each other’s innermost person.  We bared our souls to each other from the day we knew we were destined to be together until the last day we were.  I will be so very lost for a while without her."

Of course, Charles  has had his moments since she has passed.  But she is not a person should be mourned.  We will always miss her so very much but her life should be celebrated.  She wanted everyone to be happy and in a good spot in their world.  We shall honor that.  The truth is Kandis still lives. She is in all of us who knew her.  She gave big pieces of herself to those who were in her life.  We all have them. If you met her even briefly you do too.  Her and her love of life and people is in us all.  My family which includes many of you not related by blood, has committed to honor her by celebrating her and trying to find a way to emulate that wonderful and unique person that she was as best we can.  I hope you do too.  Kandis strongest desire was to never cause anyone pain or suffering and to only give them happiness, kindness, and joy. Her ending should not be about pain or sadness.  It would be a disservice to her. 

We will continue to honor Kandis and her memory. Her wishes would have been to both help prevent Melanoma and help continue research. Please click the button below to donate in memory of Kandis Carter. 

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